A show with a short run time, and a shorter shelf life
The hook-up app is dead, long live brothels? That is the questionable framing for GuyMart by George Lacey and Richard Seaman at the Waterloo East Theatre. This is a one act musical set in a world where dating apps have become obsolete and have been replaced by ‘GuyMart’, a sort of gay hook-up supermarket where customers choose from the available stock, check them out at the till, and then take them home. Yes, I have just described a supermarket themed brothel, but the show does actually say this is not prostitution (but does not explain how it differs), and tries to suggest that this is an evolution from the hook-up app, rather than literally being the world’s oldest profession. Shaky premise aside, the show is a classic tale of the innocent younger man who is out there looking for love and ends up looking in all the wrong places.
Tonally, this show is very confusing. Throughout the show it all just seems very creepy. Some sections were absolutely meant to be creepy, but other parts clearly were not, and yet there was a sense of general un-comfiness throughout. The show starts out really camp and upbeat, however most of the “comedy” is just men acting feminine and the actors doing silly voices. In 2023 just having camp and effeminate men on stage is not enough to make a scene amusing, and none of the written jokes really seemed to land either. The show does become intentionally sinister and serious later on, but this tonal shift is incredibly jarring and does open up a lot of questions about consent, abuse, and mental health, but these are never properly explored and seem to be used more as set dressing rather than actual substantive pieces of plot.
The performances on the whole are fine. Daniel Walford, who plays young naïve Matt gives a quite strong performance both in terms of singing and acting, and he is given the most to do and most opportunities to shine. That being said, Nick Sedgwick, who plays the sex obsessed and quite lecherous Freddie is given a big solo number to shine in, which he performs with aplomb. In general, though, I do not think any performer had great amounts of material to work with. Numerous characters seemed to change their motivations with no real reason given as to why and while the actors do try their best to make these journeys believable, none of the characters really rang true.
The songs and score I did think was a highlight. The musical numbers were all enjoyable and performed well, although there is a dearth of group numbers and an abundance of solos after the opening few minutes, which I do think is a shame. The stronger elements of the show were these initial group numbers and “The Aisle Song” successfully delivered the fun camp factor that the show was going for at the beginning.
In conclusion, there were some positive elements to this production, but a weak script and story meant that these bright spots were not enough to make this a successful show in my opinion. More time could perhaps be given into the world building of the show, and giving more plot points and character development space to breathe. Unfortunately, there is a lot of good queer theatre at the moment, and this production does not stack up and should perhaps be put back on the shelves.