An interesting but middling exploration of the Mexicana experience
As someone who loves poetry, I think it’s one of the riskiest kinds of shows to go to. It’s an art form that is so personal, raw and each poem has it’s own niche that means even if it’s brilliantly written you might just not like it. That said I went to see Gigi Bella’s Big Feelings, a self described “A one-of-a-kind spoken word musical” exploring the Mexicana experience with eager anticipation.
Here the first hurdle is reached -because I don’t think this description is true. The given descriptor makes it sound like it was going to have a unique format, have a really well defined structure but it doesn’t feel like that. It meanders between monologue, song, poem, and joke like most poetry shows I’ve been to do, hardly unique or one of a kind in that sense. Some flourishes do stand out like changing costumes in front of the audience in between poems or songs while still talking the whole time, parodying Taylor Swift’s constant wardrobe changes.
The more interesting aspect is the focus on the Mexicana experience. Gigi’s perspective and way of expressing the how growing up in a country that doesn’t seem to want her or people who look like her, interacts with every facet of her personal life really brings the emotional burden of juggling such an antagonistic culture with trying to find self love, romance and security in a country that tries to offer little.
At the height of her powers I feel like I get and understand these struggles and the emotional complexity just a bit better than I did before on a personal level, she can cut through clichés to a raw version of her experience. Her final poem about Taco Bell is brilliant at this, using vivid imagery of a family crouched round a table with a meal to explore how the authentic Mexican experience isn’t about fancy made tacos in an upmarket restaurant, it’s about struggling and fighting to find a place in a country that shows ever increasing hostility towards them.
Unfortunately this poem stood out so much also because I found most other poems failed to really cut so deep and sound so insightful to me. Maybe it’s because being British certain cultural references don’t translate as well (sometimes literally), but I think some poems just don’t offer either new ideas or interesting ways to present them in verse. Clearly she can write and perform poems that really do cut straight to your core like the best poems should, but perhaps with more time, more careful curation of a set or show we can see the potential realised. There were parts in all where I did really nod along with a strong line, or compelling imagery but this was too fleeting and inconsistent to be moved throughout.