We sat down with Flo Petrie about her new show Thirty Six Questions
“Welcome to a new dating show: matched with your soulmate, all it takes is thirty-six questions to fall in love. Or does it? Pro and Ant are fed up with the dating game: the endless swiping, awkward matches, and disappointing first dates. They want something different. Something real. But what if finding that kind of connection comes at a cost? A cost that could mean losing everything they believe about themselves, or even their lives.”
How did your own experiences of singledom shape the emotional core of Thirty Six Questions?
One of the hardest things I’ve experienced was the breakup of my first serious, three-year relationship. My identity had become so wrapped up in my partner that, when it ended, I felt completely unmoored. He loved me deeply, and I him, and I’m so grateful for that, but it gave me a false sense of self-worth, one that was tied to someone else’s love, not my own.
Rebuilding myself after that taught me the importance of doing the inner work. When I began dating again, I genuinely enjoyed it and still do to a large extent, it was fun and exciting, but I couldn’t access the depth I craved. I kept meeting people who, like I had once been, were emotionally closed off. I never blamed them. I just hoped they’d open. But none of those relationships lasted more than three months. When I started gently questioning the dynamics they were hiding behind, things would fall apart, either they’d leave, or I would.
Lately, I’ve met people who don’t want commitment, and that’s been eye-opening. It’s made me realise that relationships aren’t just about sharing a life, they come with responsibility. And maybe they shouldn’t feel so heavy. If we were grounded in ourselves, would we really require that emotional commitment from someone else? Maybe relationships aren’t ’till death do us part’ but simply chapters in a much bigger story.
Those experiences showed me that real connection only happens when both people are emotionally ready to meet each other fully. That understanding became a core thread in Thirty Six Questions.
What discoveries did you make during the rewrite that shifted the play from Love to Love into its bolder, darker incarnation?
Love to Love was already quite bold and dark in both context and content, it was my attempt at spiritual discovery. However, there were still a few questions left unanswered. In this new retelling, I wanted to retain the device that had worked well, but I also wanted both characters to go on journeys of self-understanding.
As they come to realise what’s really at stake in the dating show, and what might happen if they don’t complete it properly, there’s this constant, pulsing, deadening sensation that forces them to confront the darker parts of themselves. That tension is what gives this version its deeper emotional weight.
In exploring intimacy through a “Black Mirror twist,” what do you feel theatre can reveal about modern dating that reality TV or psychology studies cannot?
Theatre imposes creative constraints that push us to be more inventive. Writing a play that’s 60 pages long means I can’t waffle or over-explain, it has to be tight and purposeful. The relationship must be shown in small moments: the glances, the movements, the silences.
And because theatre is live, it reflects the real emotional stakes of our lives. There’s an immediacy and vulnerability in watching people work through intimacy in real time that you just don’t get from a screen or a study.
How do you balance humour and discomfort in a way that keeps audiences both entertained and unsettled?
The setting and device I’ve created do a lot of that work for me, they naturally keep the audience on edge, wondering what’s really happening. That frees me up to play with the characters’ interactions. Sometimes they’re just dating and vibing. Other times, they’re being prodded and tested.
I’ve always believed that light and dark have to exist in tension to create depth. Without that contrast, you don’t get a full understanding of what’s working or what’s broken. It’s in that emotional interplay that the real impact lies.
Do you think our cultural obsession with “finding the one” says more about individual longing or about the systems—social, economic, and digital—that condition our desires?
Personally, I believe that our desire to “find the one” is largely a societally driven longing, perpetuated by a capitalist agenda that tells us buying things, or achieving certain life milestones, will make us happy. If society, the economy, and digital culture had told us that being single was the ideal, then that would be our norm instead.
Throughout my life, there’s been this persistent pressure to have a partner. At first, I thought it was because I didn’t love or value myself enough, that I needed external validation to feel whole. But even after I got to a place of self-contentment, the pressure was still there.
After a few boyfriends that didn’t work out the harsh reality that a partner might not actually make me feel better didn’t erase the longing. My mind, influenced by consumerist narratives, just told me I hadn’t found “the right one” yet. But what if I never do? Am I supposed to feel incomplete forever?
That was the turning point, when I looked beyond myself and questioned the culture. It was actually a recent conversation with my dad that crystallised it. He said, “Flo, if the story in our world was that being on your own is the best thing, not being in a relationship, then I really think you wouldn’t feel like you needed one.” That really stuck with me. It helped me reframe the whole narrative I’d been living in.
What conversations do you hope young audiences, especially students, will carry with them after watching the play?
Ultimately, this play explores what it means to be in a romantic relationship. More and more as a society, we’re becoming attuned to our emotions and thoughts, not just reacting to them, but questioning them. That’s powerful.
I want people to want love, to be happy, to find meaningful connection, but I want it to come from a place of already being their own best partner, not from seeking external validation.
For young people especially who are growing up in a hyper-connected world with constant pressure around how life should look. I hope this play helps them see that we can’t run from our own inner struggles. We can’t suppress them or project them onto others. That only leads to more pain.
I really believe that everyone is capable of being in a beautiful, healthy relationship. But we have to stop putting rigid conditions on each other, and start accepting ourselves and each other as we truly are. It’s a lofty goal, but one that could genuinely shift how we connect with others.
Thirty Six Questions is showing at the Pleasance London at 19:40 on Wednesday the 15th of October, to Friday the 17th of October.
Ticket Link: https://www.pleasance.co.uk/event/thirty-six-questions