In the 80s, Grace’s mum was told her book on dating would set feminism back 20 years. Transformed into a comedy musical, the award-winning Grace O’Keefe now shares this unapologetic how-to-guide with the world as she unpacks relationships, romance and living life to the fullest. It’s time to determine where feminism lies in today’s dating scene. Featuring original music and a one-of-a-kind insight into the world of dating, this is a charmingly addictive musical romp through the alphabet. We hold this dialogue with Grace.
• How did revisiting your mother’s decades-old dating advice reshape your own understanding of modern relationships and feminism?
The book infamously (at least in my family) was rejected by a publisher because “it would set feminism back 20 years”. And I see why the publisher said that, but what I find fascinating about the book, and my mom for that matter, is how it defies the bounds of feminism and anti-feminism. That’s not to say none of the advice is problematic! But, as is often the case, the truth exists in the gray in-between. In the perilous world of modern dating– and it seems more dire than ever– there definitely is helpful advice, as well as advice that modern audiences would outright reject. That’s okay! It’s particularly interesting to see where perspectives on each piece of advice diverge.
• What felt most important to preserve—and what needed challenging—when translating Feast at the Famine into a contemporary musical?
This is a challenge I’m currently navigating in rehearsal and with test audiences. There is an impulse to have me establish straight away that I disagree with my mom’s advice so that the audience feels more comfortable laughing at the “archaic” advice. I’m leaning away from this impulse.
The most memorable comedic experiences of my life involved the delicious tension between wanting to laugh and wondering if I am allowed to laugh. I want the audience to examine what they laugh at, why they laugh at it, and what it means about how they see women, dating and their mother.
• How does the show navigate the tension between irony and sincerity when presenting dating advice that might feel outdated today?
Great question! I think the show navigates this by using drag to examine how femininity is performed. Cabaret as a medium can, perhaps uniquely, be simultaneously ironic and sincere.
As a performer as well as the writer, I think it’s essential that mom is played completely sincerely and hopefully, lovingly. That being said, there is an inherent irony in playing the role of my own mother in drag. The performativity of it all, not only the drag, but the costume changes, singing, and visible physical exertion of performance, comments on the challenge of womanhood, today and throughout history.
• In embodying your mother onstage, what unexpected insights emerged about generational expectations around love and independence?
The key thing about this book is that it’s not about finding a husband, it’s about dating plentifully. My mom didn’t get married til she was 36, a decade after writing the book. That being said, while I never felt personal pressure to commit quickly to monogamy, my experience in independence, dating (and in life) is very much influenced by my parents’ views and expectations.
Sometimes I have rebelled (and in fairness, they’ve always allowed me my rebellions) and sometimes I have followed their advice. I am actually always grateful to have their opinion, whether or not I agree!
• How do the shifts in musical style—from 80s synthpop to showtunes—mirror the emotional or ideological journey of the piece?
There are three distinct sound worlds and periods for the show: big old fashioned 50s showtunes, fun upbeat silly 80s numbers, and by the end we get to a more grounded contemporary voice. I’m playing with the three eras of feminism as well, from I Love Lucy and Golden Age Hollywood post the first wave, the post second wave power-suit-wearing do-it-all (while smiling!) Barbie era to finally, post third wave zillenial angst. While I wrote the music for my last EdFringe show, Summoning Sondheim- there were fewer songs and they all were either referential or pastiche- and I co-write music in other projects, it’s exciting to be making a musical mark on this show that’s all my own (although I’ve been getting great help from my Musical Theatre writing pals!). Exploring my voice has become part of the musical identity of the emotional and ideological journey of the show.
• What conversations do you hope audiences leave having about the influence of parental narratives on their own romantic lives?
This show is so entirely specific to me and my relationship to my Mom and entirely universal in its psychoanalytic approach to “Mom”. Although my Mom is admittedly a one-in-a-billion character, I hope audiences will be able to project their own experiences and their own relationship to their mothers onto this story I’m weaving.
Ultimately, the show is a coming-of-age journey, about moving past creating our sense of self through the reflection of our parents. Hopefully people will leave wanting to talk to their mom about their own romantic lives and life, person to person. I hope they call their mom afterwards!
Underbelly (Buttercup) from Wednesday 5th – Monday 31st August at 17:15.
https://www.edfringe.com/tickets/whats-on/an-a-to-z-guide-to-dating