“Big baws and bigger laughs, this panto thrives in its dirty humour“
Patter Productions is a brand-new company with the aim of bringing first-class theatre made here in Scotland to audiences around the world. Their freshman production, “The Wizard Wae The Big Baws” has embarked on its first tour starting at The Beacon Arts Centre and this twist on The Wizard of Oz is sure to have you crying with laughter.
As adaptations of this particular story go, it’s certainly one of the more entertaining ones. Be warned, this adult pantomime is not for the feint of heart or the easily offended (especially if you live in Port Glasgow). The humour is absolutely filthy and revels in wonderfully crude jokes from start to finish. As soon as Glinda enters with Dilly-do, her crystal friend that does more than just help her keep an eye on Dorothy, it’s abundantly clear that this is going to be a different kind of show. Instead of the yellow brick road, we have the yella cooncil lines. Dorothy isn’t trying to go home. She wants to escape the scheme and find a man. Specifically, one with baws big enough to satisfy her, the biggest in all the land. So, Glinda sends her on her way to the Emerald Shitty to find The Wizard Wae The Big Baws, believing he will have the answer she seeks.
Along the way, Dorothy meets some new friends who accompany her on her journey, though they may not be exactly as you remember from past versions of this tale. Instead of being brainless, Scarecrow’s mind is only on one thing; getting into Dorothy’s pants. He becomes instantly enamoured with her when she happens across the bin he’s living in. There are various altered versions of well-known pop and clubland hits throughout but Craig MacDougall’s rendition of “Belter” upon meeting Dorothy is by far the most hilarious. It left the audience in stitches. However, Scarecrow is without a home as well as a girlfriend so upon hearing of The Wizard, he decides to join Dorothy in the hopes that he can help him find a nice house, “in Gourock or Inverkip”.
They soon come across the Tin Wummin who instead of a heart, just needs her hip replacement so she can dance again. Megan McGuire’s attitude really adds to the humour, especially when her character is ready to scrap with Scarecrow. As for The Lion (or “Pussy Boots” as Scarecrow affectionately labels him), his cowardice cleverly centres around being his true self and coming out the closet. However, his wish for The Wizard is to help him find followers online and a brand deal. This change is probably the furthest reach but it works within the context and is ultimately good fun. Together, they set off to meet Big Baws in the hopes he’ll grant their heart’s desire.
The visualisation the audience is met with when first seeing The Wizard is ludicrous, comically so. He undoubtedly has big baws, on display across his green suit for all to see. Props to the costume department, I don’t think they could have made them look more amusing if they tried, and of course to Sanjeev Kohli who had to keep them in place the whole night. The reasoning for them being so big is as vulgar as you’d expect. They haven’t been “emptied” in 14 years. The exact amount of time since he was last with his former paramour and the so-called villain of the story, The Wicked Bitch Who Smells Ae Pish. Gloriously played by Gayle Telfer Stevens, The Wicked Bitch is after back payments of CMS money for the son she conceived with him 14 years ago, who just happens to be a flying monkey. The back-and-forth between the former River City stars makes for some of this panto’s best moments, often breaking the fourth wall in enjoyable ways that acknowledge their longstanding history on TV.
The only areas this performance lacked somewhat is in set design, which was very minimalistic and in some aspects of singing. There were however enjoyable performances from Stevens, demonstrating hidden talents beyond her acting abilities and Andrew Grayson in his altered version of “I’m Coming Up” (changed to “I’m Coming Out”) which definitely added to the quality of the performance. Dorothy’s final song was also very sweet. Molly Quinn’s accent coming through proves that songs not traditionally made for Scottish voices can sound lovely. The crowd favourite seemed to be “Fly On The Wings Of Love”, repeated throughout the night and encouraging everyone to join in.
Overall, the strengths of this production lie in its humour, as it does with most pantomimes. Cherry West’s Glinda is a raunchy dame who made any scene better and arguments between Dorothy and Scarecrow were often some of the funniest moments. There was so much personality from everyone on stage and it shined through in a very entertaining way. As a first production from this company, this was an enjoyable, laugh out loud success! Patter Productions is worth keeping an eye out for in the future.
The crude humour and regional nods to Greenock and the surrounding areas were right up my street. Imperfect but a very fun night with lots of laughs which is all you can ask for.