This cast made sure to gie it laldie as they belted it oot for aww to hear
A show filled with laughter, songs and more than a few wee facts, Scots-The Musical is more than just a comic glance at the country. This show delves deep into Scotland’s past, its origins and its people; all told from the point of view of a toilet. THE Toilet, in fact. The very first. The Pavilion, being such a beloved theatre in Glasgow, made this the perfect venue for such an event, as the audience went on an educational, if somewhat ludicrous, journey.
Any story told by something people use to defecate in is going to be a bit mad. There’s really no way around that; it’s a pretty bold choice for a narrator. Yet, oddly perfect? It honestly sort of sums Scotland up in a brutal kind of way, or at least our humour. We do, undoubtedly, partake in a lot of toilet humour. Even the infamous “DISGUSTANG” meme gets a nod as we go through a variety of bog-related jokes. The reason for such an unusual storytelling device is that the first ever toilet was said to have been dug in Scotland. Throughout the show, The Toilet takes us on a journey through Scottish history, all beginning with the song “I’ve Seen Some Shit”. With this kind of storytelling device, you’d think all the humour would indeed be “shit”, but the audience was roaring with laughter as our narrator talked about how it had seen “a lot of arseholes”. This opening song has already become an earworm as it is incredibly catchy. It works really well to open the show, being a light-hearted, less serious number.
As previously mentioned, though, this show is about more than just laughs. This musical shows us many important figures in Scottish history, especially women underappreciated within their own time. Mary Somerville, the first-ever scientist, is one such figure. Mary gets to sing one of the most powerful numbers of the show, “I Don’t Need Your Approval”. The high notes achieved by Katie Barnett were sensational, acting as a perfect closer for Act 1. Themes of female empowerment continue into Act 2 with Annie Gibbons, a woman who was instrumental in the implementation of the first toilets in tenement flats in Scotland in 1972. She provided Raymond Young with a space to build his schematics, and this led to a movement which saw toilets be included in flats and tenements all across the country. The song “Som’dy Needs A Boot Up The Arse” accompanies this part of the story and rhymes the words “didnae” and “kidney” in an act of absolute lyricism.
One thing this show manages to do well is address Scotland’s missteps. Acknowledging that Scotland has made a lot of mistakes is actually one of the factors that will help it stand the test of time, and it can’t be stressed enough how important that is. Scotland’s not perfect. Nowhere is but especially not us. We have work to do to improve, grow, and evolve and this musical addresses that boldly, while remaining hopeful for our future. One such example of this is the homophobic attitudes towards gay people in Scotland, across time, but especially in the 1970s-1990s. We see how this led to many retreating to bathroom cubicles as a place to hide, in school, work, social settings and how the hostile environment towards the community exacerbated the AIDS crisis. It goes on to show how times have evolved, as being gay was no longer illegal in Scotland in 1980. It took over 3 decades for gay marriage to be legalised, with Scotland finally being at the forefront as the first country to do so in 2014. This is all beautifully captured in a moving song sung by characters Oscar and Daniel, “Things We Don’t Say”.
Another example of Scotland’s biggest errors that gets mentioned, in which we got “so utterly shagged” as it was so eloquently put, is when we tried to colonise the Darien region of Panama from 1698 to 1700. Known as the Darien Scheme, William Patterson took over £400,000 (roughly £60 million in today’s terms) of money taken from Scottish citizens with the intent of establishing a colony and trading route known as New Caledonia. However, it was an absolute failure, leading to the death of Patterson’s whole family as well as 2000 others due to disease and attacks from Spain, who also wished to colonise the area. This is savagely summed up in the line “Scotland backed the horse that got malaria and died”. These financial losses are ultimately what led to the formation of the union with England in 1707. Another brilliant quote that helps summarise our storied history as a country is simply, “Sometimes we’re a f—ing mess”. Harsh, but true. However, the show also states that we always get up and try again, that we never give up, and that is important. Scotland may have some work to do, but we’re doing our best, and if we can own our mistakes and learn from the past, our future can be brighter. Better.
It’s worth noting that there are a couple of excellent running gags in this show. One is the map girl, always getting in the way and always with a deranged look in her eyes. The other is the lute player, constantly trying to get away with playing an old Scottish song known as “How Can I Be Sad On My Wedding Day?” The Toilet is having none of it, which leads to some panto-like interactions as we feel sorry for the poor lute player, but eventually, she gets to fulfil her wish, and it’s worth the wait. Yana Harris had multiple roles, but this was definitely her most endearing. It should also be mentioned that Tyler Collins did superb work with all the humour throughout the night as The Toilet. He served as a perfect narrator.
Overall, Scots- The Musical is a total riot! The balance between silly and serious is just right, the songs are incredibly entertaining, and the cast is very clearly having an absolute ball. It was plain to see how much they were all enjoying themselves, which flowed through their performance and made this a memorable and enjoyable night. Gon’ yerselves!
This has Fringe energy written all over it. It’s funny, well-balanced in tone and even educational. Plus, the songs are all fabulous! Perfect length in runtime and perfect for Scottish audiences.
This show has finished its run at the Glasgow Pavilion. Find more tickets for the Glasgow Pavilion here – https://trafalgartickets.com/pavilion-theatre-glasgow/en-GB