A weird and wonderful night of Christmas jazz (ft. an actual proposal)
The words ‘Big Band’ are some of the most joyful in the English language. And yet, most memories of actual big band concerts tend to be disappointing: depressing school halls decked out in tinsel, trumpets that haven’t quite grasped the concept of tune, and a conductor whose hairline recedes further with every wrong note. Guy Barker’s Big Band Christmas, on the other hand, is exactly what it should be.
Well, maybe not exactly. Barker’s band is kookier than one might expect in a building as prestigious as the Royal Albert Hall. Guy Barker MBE is one of our foremost trumpet players (he backed up Wham!) and returns to RAH with his yearly festive concert, bringing an enormous band as well as a whole host of guests.
His band, a grand collection of strings, brass and wind, is exceptional. They blast out a variety of Barker’s alternative arrangements with bombast and precision, from a Jingle Bells that sounds like a Mario Kart theme to a seductive clarinet-led Winter Wonderland.
So watertight and well-drilled are his band, that Barker will sometimes take a break from conducting and dance around a little – and who can blame him? His job is done, he’s the under-11s football coach chatting up mums on the sideline as his team pump their twelfth goal past the opposition’s weeping keeper.
His guests are, for the most part, stellar. Clare Teal, our part-compêre, has a gorgeous voice that sounds straight out of 1940s America, her pearly tones make you want to sign up to fight at Pearl Harbour (compliment).
We also have Lance Ellington, most well-known for singing on Strictly Come Dancing. It’s great to see him in his element singing Louis Prima’s What Will Santa Claus Say? rather than being forced to sing Ed Sheeran every other week.
Barker fills the interludes with some sub-par audience work until something rather strange happens. He asks for quiet. Someone in the front row gets on one knee. Now we’re all cheering? And the bloke from Strictly is singing some Bublé?? It’s lovely and beautiful and romantic but…just…???? There are few things more charming than a proposal at Christmas but it does exemplify how the show can feel like whiplash.
There are a couple of awkward numbers: a man in a blue fedora comes on stage. He jigs. He sings the song ‘Boogie Santa’. He holds the mic out to us at the chorus. Nobody responds. We do not know the song ‘Boogie Santa’. He continues to jig. These numbers stand out only in comparison to the high quality that they sit beside.
Overall, Barker has all the detail that a great Big Band needs, but brings enough personality and weirdness to pique the interest throughout.