“A wildly funny and moving one-man play about a young gay Jewish man’s journey towards self-acceptance.”
Josh is a pillar of his community. A former head boy at his Jewish high school back in South Africa, no less. He is also an attractive twink who rocks a baby-pink crop top whenever he gets the chance and is well versed in the ins and outs of the London gay scene. As the play opens, he is on the cusp of turning nineteen and is busily preparing for his Friday night. Holding a simple Shabbat meal for one, he says a brief blessing over the wine and challah he is about to consume. Meanwhile his phone is blowing up with Grindr notifications, along with increasingly insistent voicemails from his mum. Speaking on the phone to his family in Cape Town, he is polite but non-committal when they prod him on whether he’s going out with a female friend that night. Little do they know he is hastily making plans for a covert hook-up with an older man in Hampstead Heath. This effectively sets the tone for the whole piece as Josh hurtles between two disparate worlds and seeks to reconcile his gay identity with the religion he has observed all his life.
This semi-autobiographical play is the debut work of actor, director and writer Josh Maughan, an artistic director at Springbok Production House. Delivered in monologue format, character Josh makes the audience his confidante, all while generously offering frank insights into both gay and Jewish life without being overly didactic. As an actor, Josh carries the 60-minute solo show with endearing playfulness and charm. Some of the strongest writing is evidenced in the comedic passages. There are overtones of Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s Fleabag in some of the lighter moments, particularly when Josh returns from his Hampstead Heath rendezvous with leaves and twigs in his hair, or when he recounts a meeting with Rabbi Feldman at synagogue, for whom he nurses a hilariously awkward crush. However, Josh is left stunned during the rabbi’s address to the congregation, in which he declares, “God loves us for who we are and who we want to be.” On the surface, an uplifting and all-encompassing statement of love and acceptance, but for Josh it proves too bitter a pill to swallow, for his experiences growing up as a closeted gay Jewish man have not been defined by this type of love at all. On the contrary, he has endured unimaginable rejection and bullying, despite being closeted. As a barrage of childhood trauma come flooding back, he begins to spiral out of control, his slender frame tensing with outrage, buckling under the weight of a lifetime of repression and isolation. He balks at what he feels is sheer hypocrisy on display, and questions why a God that professes to love people for who they really are should compel them to deny or hide parts of themselves.
Just to complicate matters, Josh learns that his family are gifting him a pilgrimage to Israel as a birthday present, a prospect that clearly fills him with dread but for which he must pretend to be thankful. Hoping to forget all about the impending trip, he throws himself into the sweaty embrace of Heaven nightclub, but in the midst of making out with a lover on the dancefloor he almost swears he can hear the Israeli national anthem resounding in his ears, sending him into another downward spiral. One senses he is bursting at the seams from the strain of compartmentalising such fundamental parts of his identity. At one point he expresses doubts about the existence of God, but then sardonically compares his relationship with God to having an abusive ex-boyfriend, a perfect metaphor for the crisis of faith he is experiencing. Realising he has to find a way forward, he seeks out examples of other individuals who have faced the same struggle. Sure enough, he is struck by the realisation that there are countless people out there who are just like him, gay Jewish people through the ages who have lived, loved and left an enduring mark on the world. Validated by the knowledge that he is not alone, that it is perfectly possible not only to be gay and Jewish, but also successful and proud, he scrawls a list of key names on the wall in chalk. Armed with this new pantheon of trailblazing elders, perhaps Josh can find the courage to fully embrace who he is and seek acceptance from his family, come what may.
Although its themes are not new and the writing can feel unpolished in places, this is a play that will speak to anyone and everyone who has, for whatever reason, struggled to live authentically. It’s a heartfelt ode to outsiders everywhere, an uplifting expression of how complex identities can overlap and coexist in one person, and a testament to the power of faith, love and pride.