A silly and endlessly engaging piece that excellently straddles the funny and the thought-provoking
Thanks For Having Me, a new play written by and starring a confusingly endearing Keelan Kember, is a naturalistic examination of the politics and culture of dating and hookups in contemporary life, directed by Monica Cox. It is a four-hander, but mostly it’s a male two-hander, with Kember as paralytically anxious Cashel and Kedar Williams-Stirling as his suave, sexy, yet emotionally illiterate best friend. Their Odd Couple opposition is used to narrative effect, as Cashel is comically neurotic, chronically terrified, and pathologically monogamous. And the dialogue between themis superb: witty repartee, mixed with cutting social observation; it’s compelling and ever so entertaining.
The main thing to understand about Thanks For Having Me is that it is light and genuinely very funny, with an intelligent backbone. And this should be sufficient to recommend it. Plus, Kember and Williams-Sterling are wonderful; eccentric and engaging. They have a natural chemistry and charm, complementing the dialogue beautifully.
The women of the piece, given the premise, do quickly become accessories to the plot, and lack substance. Whilst Kember’s dialogue thrives with the men, it is less convincing on the female side. He does, nevertheless, make some interesting discursive attempts to tackle the misogynistic minefield of modern dating and hookup culture in which women cannot possibly win. With that in mind, Adeyinka Akinrinade and Nell Tiger Free as Maya and Eloise respectively do what they need to do and do it well.
Thanks For Having Me is interested in a kind of male emotional digestion, examining how men are able to navigate their feelings about modern dating and about the women they sleep with. Cashel is recently out of a long-term relationship, whereas Honey has yet to even be in any kind of official relationship. They discuss their romantic issues at length, and with much hilarity. There is a slight conceptual dilemma: Honey and Cashel are eloquent and articulate with their emotions. Even with his lack of emotional self-awareness, Honey is quick to introspect and is able to evaluate and analyse emotions in a way that seems at odds with his character.
Cashel, too, is often paralysed by his own emotional self-awareness, but able to speak articulately at length about it. And it’s very engaging to watch a piece in which a man displays evidence of self-awareness and emotional literacy, even if it necessitates deep neuroticism. However, one questions how realistic this is: do men really have lengthy conversations about the depths and nuances of their feelings and relationships with women? Are straight men, on mass, truly able to have such consistent conversations, without judgement of themselves or the other? I hope so. But I’m not convinced.
That being said, there’s something pleasingly counter-cultural in indulging in a piece of theatre where the men profoundly fail the Bechtel Test – if such a male equivalent exists. But I applaud the creation of such a piece of theatre. And it’s refreshing to watch two men discuss, without irony or much self-consciousness (perhaps too little), women and relationships in a way that isn’t inherently misogynistic.
The excellent dialogue does work to compensate the less fulfilling plot (the ending is perhaps the weakest spot), but given the premise, plot is not the priority. Small narrative issues are easily forgiven. For overall, Thanks For Having Me is a silly exploration of modern dating culture that achieves an excellent balance between funny and thought-provoking.